FOUND - I FOUND

I am by no means an edifier, I am just me.
I am by no means a distractor, I am just me.

In the spirit of being just me and embracing myself, I write my musings:

Fashioned by a God who I have never seen, relying on the teachings of my father and mother- and they-their fathers and mothers, I find myself tied to a race that appreciate not itself, nor its history, but a race who will believe anything thrown at them, like a people lost, and not knowing they are.

I find myself in an environment surrounded by love, protected by grace, at least, that's what I was taught. I never saw 'grace' I only believed because I was taught that it existed. All I could do was eat, get education, sleep, play etc. I was but just me. I was taught to pray to the God of Abraham ,Isaac and Jacob, and that one day I will come to understand Him on my own terms, but honestly, I was not too perturbed. It seemed like He came with a bag of rules.

I found myself worried at the expectations from people. I was after all, the leader's daughter, I had to live in a certain way, dress in a certain way and act in a certain way. It was daunting. And so I most likely rebelled. But it wasn't full blown, apparently, I didn't just have the liver. My mom had a solid hand.

Eventually, I said to me, I must be of a different breed, I don't get this people. Can I live on my own when I grow up? get away? Well, and be of good cheer actually? What a long journey ahead for me. But yeah, I'll get to that.

I found myself looking for answers. Getting closer to a book - the oldest one. I found myself being pulled towards it. Relishing in its words of comfort and power. I found myself enjoying the stories. Really cool. I started longing for the kind of relationship He had with the early guys. Parting the sea. Wow. What great power He gives.

My longing turned real. Looks like I knew Him on my terms then. For me.
But no, that's not it.

He had mercy on my poor lost soul, and called me His own.

I found Him at last. I found myself surrounded by His love and grace. It wasn't an easy journey discovering this One.

I found myself.
I embrace my race. We are not perfect people, but we are stronger together than apart. Eventually, we will know our history, a history I'm too lazy to pen down now. lol